Monday, 10 May 2021

Reflection of my situation by then in 2013-2014: Whether suffering from Cognitive Dissonance or Macro Pituitary Adenoma

When I reflect my situation back in 2013-2014 while I was undertaking my doctorate program at the University of Sydney in the financial support of the Australian Government through Australian Leadership Award I was not sure whether I was suffering from Cognitive Dissonance or Macro Pituitary Adenoma (Benign tumor of brain) related mental health condition. Upon my returned to Australia in November 2012 completing my field work (data collection) I thought that I might be suffering from Homesickness, which I never ever suffered before in 2004 while I been to Australia to undertake my Master in Public Health program or even in 2011 when I first been there to undertake my doctorate program. 
However, upon my returned to Australia in November 2012 I did not understand what was going on inside me in my mind as I did not have any interest in my academic work. Instead I liked to focus on learning and exploring in-depth about the issues that I was undertaking as part of my doctorate program "Influence of gender power relation on sexual and reproductive health". I bought lot of books to learn and understand about human psychology, brain, behaviour, belief, attitude, mindset and so forth because though I understood the root cause of the gender based discrimination in the human society but thought that I might not able to do anything to change the status quo. Therefore, instead of focusing on my academic activities I kept reading books and literatures about those issues staying at home. Almost a year I spent my time in that way. Then my supervisor, Professor Dr. Kirsten Black, an academic gynaecologist at the University of Sydney, where she used to be the Joint Head of the Discipline of Obstetrics, Gynaecology, and Neonatology approached me asking how I been progressing with my study. Frankly, I told her that I am not progressing in my academic performance which I suppose to be. Then she asked me what has been happening to me I told her that I do not know what is happening but I do not like to focus on my academic work. She advised me to consult at the Psychological Counselling Centre of the university to seek counselling service which I did. Though I got some relief from the counselling that I received from the centre, however, still something was not going well. She asked me again how I have been progressing. I thought that I have to tell her my past health history so I told her, "before in 2005 I had 10 times higher than normal prolactin hormone and had suspected having prolactinoma and told me to do MRI but I have not done so far. Therefore, that could be the triggering factor why I like to remain alone and keep reading books rather than focus on my academic performance." After hearing my situation she helped me to consult with an Endocrinologist, Professor Mark S Cooper, Professor of Medicine and Head of Concord Clinical School of the University of Sydney and I have been diagnosed having Pituitary Macro Adenoma subtype Macro Prolactinoma (Benin Brain Tumor).

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