Reflection of my situation by then in 2013-2014: Whether suffering from Cognitive Dissonance or Macro Pituitary Adenoma

When I reflect my situation back in 2013-2014 while I was undertaking my doctorate program at the University of Sydney in the financial support of the Australian Government through Australian Leadership Award I was not sure whether I was suffering from Cognitive Dissonance or Macro Pituitary Adenoma (Benign tumor of brain) related mental health condition. Upon my returned to Australia in November 2012 completing my field work (data collection) I thought that I might be suffering from Homesickness, which I never ever suffered before in 2004 while I been to Australia to undertake my Master in Public Health program or even in 2011 when I first been there to undertake my doctorate program. 

However, upon my returned to Australia in November 2012 I did not understand what was going on inside me in my mind as I did not have any interest in my academic work. Instead I liked to focus on learning and exploring in-depth about the issues that I was undertaking as part of my doctorate program "Influence of gender power relation on sexual and reproductive health". I bought lot of books to learn and understand about human psychology, brain, behaviour, belief, attitude, mindset and so forth because though I understood the root cause of the gender based discrimination in the human society but thought that I might not able to do anything to change the status quo. Therefore, instead of focusing on my academic activities I kept reading books and literatures about those issues staying at home. Almost a year I spent my time in that way. Then my supervisor, Professor Dr. Kirsten Black, an academic gynaecologist at the University of Sydney, where she used to be the Joint Head of the Discipline of Obstetrics, Gynaecology, and Neonatology approached me asking how I been progressing with my study. Frankly, I told her that I am not progressing in my academic performance which I suppose to be. Then she asked me what has been happening to me I told her that I do not know what is happening but I do not like to focus on my academic work. She advised me to consult at the Psychological Counselling Centre of the university to seek counselling service which I did. Though I got some relief from the counselling that I received from the centre, however, still something was not going well. She asked me again how I have been progressing. I thought that I have to tell her my past health history so I told her, "before in 2005 I had 10 times higher than normal prolactin hormone and had suspected having prolactinoma and told me to do MRI but I have not done so far. Therefore, that could be the triggering factor why I like to remain alone and keep reading books rather than focus on my academic performance." After hearing my situation she helped me to consult with an Endocrinologist, Professor Mark S Cooper, Professor of Medicine and Head of Concord Clinical School of the University of Sydney and I have been diagnosed having Pituitary Macro Adenoma subtype Macro Prolactinoma (Benin Brain Tumor).

विश्व इतिहास पढौ, पाठ सिकौ मानवताको लागि अमेरिकी सहयोग कति घातक छ भनि बुझौ |

 आज भन्दा ५७ वर्ष अघि सन् १९६३ जुन महिनामा भियतनामको ६६ वर्षीय बुद्ध धर्मको भिक्षु Thích Quảng Đức ले आफुलाई जलाएर देह त्याग गर्नुको पछाडी अमेरिकाको हात रहेको पाइन्छ त्यहाँको ऐतिहासिक तथ्य केलाउदा र कोट्याउदा |

भियतनामको बहुसंख्याक बुद्धमार्गी नागरिकहरुलाई अमेरिकी तथा पश्चिमा मुलुकहरुको सहयोगमा लादिएको ईसाई मार्गी विश्वासी बनेका भियतनामी अल्पसंख्याकहरुको नेताद्वारा नोटमा खरिदअर्को भोट प्राप्त गरेर राज्यसत्ता आफ्नो हातमा पार्न सफल भएपछि ईसाईबादी बाईबालबादी विश्वासबादी Ngo Dinh Diem प्रधान मन्त्री बनेपछि स्थानीय बहुसंख्यक बुद्धमार्गी करिब ७० देखि ९०% नागरिकहरुलाई न्याय अत्यचार विभेद गरेको प्रत्ति विश्वका ध्यान खिच्न उनले सार्वजनिक स्थलमा आफुलाई जलाएर आत्मदाह गरेका थिए |

सोहि वर्ष, १९६३ नोभेम्बर २ तारिखमा Ngo Dinh Diem को पनि भियतनामी आर्मीले हत्या गरेको थियो | सोहि वर्ष २२ तारिख नोभेम्बर महिनामा ३२ औ अमेरिकी राष्ट्रपति जोन एफ क्यानेडीको पनि हत्या गरेका थिए अमेरिकामा त्यहाँको गोप्य प्रशासक शासकहरुले |

किन कि जोन एफ क्यानेडी चाही विरोधी थिए भियतनाममा जे जति गर्दै आई रहेका थिए अमेरिकी गोपीय शासकहरुले |

निर्वाचनमा भोट भने त नोटबाट खरिद गर्न सकिने रहेछ भन्ने नेपालमै पनि नेपाल परिवार दलका ईसाईबादी बाईबलबादी एकनाथ ढकाल संसद तथा नेपाल सरकारको शान्ति तथा पुनःनिर्माण मन्त्रालयका भूतपूर्व मन्त्री भएबाटै जान्नु बुझ्नु पर्ने हो नेपालको नेपालीहरुलाई मायाप्रेम सद्भाव गर्ने सच्चा पक्का नेपाली नागरिकहरुले |

भियतनामको यस धार्मिक राजनीतिकबाट के जान्न बुझ्न सकिन्छ भने नेपालको इसाईबादी बाईबलबादीहरु प्रायले अमेरिकी सरकारले नेपालमा लाद्न खोजेको एमसीसीको पक्षधर हुन् सक्छ |

किन कि नेपाली ईसाईबादी बाईबलबादीहरुले वास्तवमा नेपालको नेपाली नागरिकहरुलाई मायाप्रेम गर्दैनन् रहेछ यदि ईसाईबादी बाईबलबादी छैनन् भने भन्ने तथ्य जान्न बुझ्न सकिन्छ |

त्यसैले उनीहरुले तपाई हामी जो ईसाईबादी बाईबलबादी छैनौ उनीहरुलाई सैतान, मुर्ख, बुद्धु, अज्ञानी भन्ने गर्दा रहेछन र ईसाईबादी बाइबलबादी होस् भनि तपाई हामीप्रति चाहना राख्ने रहेछन भन्ने मेरो पनि सन् १९९८ देखिको अनुभव रहेको छ |

पश्चिमा मुलुकका ईसाईबादी बाईबादीहरुलाई आफ्नो मान्छे ठान्ने अनि तपाई हामीहरुलाई आफ्नो नठान्ने मान्ने प्रवृति नेपाली ईसाईबादी बाईबादी विश्वासीहरुमा देख्न हेर्न बुझ्न जान्न सकिन्छ |

यहुदीको पुर्खालाई आफ्नो जन्मदाता प्रभू, परमेश्वर ठान्ने मान्ने नेपाली ईसाईबादी बाईबलबादी विश्वासबादीहरुलाई के भन्ने जसले तपाई हामी सबैलाई सैतान ठान्ने मान्ने गर्छन | विडम्वना !!

विश्व इतिहासमा भियतनामीहरुले मात्र अमेरिकाको शासक शोसक र सरकारलाई हराउन सफल भएको पाईन्छ |